Hey there, welcome to Week 7 of Your Healing Journey!
Last week, we explored the flight response. This week, we’re focusing on the freeze response, which I like to call "The Pause Button."
I’m Monica Bergnes, a trauma therapist based in New York City. My goal is to provide you with practical tools and a friendly, down-to-earth approach to understanding and overcoming trauma. In this series, "You Make Sense: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Trauma," we'll journey together through the complexities of trauma and healing.
Recognizing the Freeze Response
The freeze response, or "The Pause Button," causes you to become immobile in the face of danger. It’s like when you’re a kid playing hide-and-seek and you freeze, hoping you won’t be found. Signs of this response can include:
- Feeling stuck or unable to move
- Numbness or lack of sensation
- Disconnection from reality or feeling detached from your surroundings
- Difficulty making decisions or taking action
The Role of Numbness and Dissociation
Numbness and dissociation are natural protective mechanisms. They are your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe from overwhelming danger by shutting down or disconnecting. It’s like your brain hits a “pause” button to avoid overloading your system.
Dissociation can range from mild, everyday experiences to more severe reactions related to trauma. Ever find yourself zoning out while driving on the highway and suddenly realize you’ve arrived at your destination? That’s a mild form of dissociation, often called highway hypnosis. Or maybe you’ve been so absorbed in a book or movie that you lose track of time – another common form of dissociation.
In the context of trauma, dissociation can be much more intense. It’s a protective mechanism our brain uses to disconnect from overwhelming experiences. This can range from feeling detached from your body (depersonalization) to feeling like the world around you isn’t real (derealization). On the far end of the spectrum, dissociation can manifest as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), where a person might experience distinct identity states.
Heart rate variability (HRV) plays a crucial role here. HRV is the variation in time between heartbeats and is influenced by the autonomic nervous system. Low HRV is associated with stress and anxiety, while high HRV indicates a more relaxed state. During dissociation, HRV often decreases, reflecting the body’s shift into a state of heightened alertness or shutdown. I will be talking more about this in an upcoming post, but for now, visit heartmath.com to learn more about how you can learn to increase your HRV and how HeartMath tools can support your healing journey and overall wellbeing.
Making Sense of the Freeze Response
The freeze response is an adaptive reaction that makes sense in the context of survival. When faced with danger, freezing can help you avoid detection or harm. Understanding this can help you see your feelings of numbness and dissociation in a new light.
Befriending the Pause Button
It's essential to approach all parts of yourself, including The Pause Button, with self-compassion. Recognizing the strength in each part and extending compassion to them is key to befriending them. This approach can ease tension and help these parts become less reactive and triggered.
We don’t want to get rid of these parts, as they play critical roles in moments of real threat. You need a freeze response, just as you need the other defense responses. The goal is to help these parts discern real threats from triggers, allowing them to be responsive when genuinely needed.
Strategies for Managing the Freeze Response
1. Identify Triggers:
- Recognize situations or people that trigger your freeze response. Keep a journal to track these triggers. Understanding your triggers can help you anticipate and manage your responses better.
2. Practice Grounding Techniques:
- Use grounding techniques to reconnect with the present moment and your surroundings. Techniques like focusing on your senses, describing your surroundings, or holding an object that provides comfort can help you stay grounded.
3. Movement and Exercise:
- Engage in physical activities that promote movement, such as walking, dancing, or stretching. Movement helps counteract the immobility of the freeze response and can reconnect you with your body.
4. Seek Professional Help:
- Consider therapy to explore underlying causes of numbness and dissociation and learn additional coping strategies. A therapist can guide you through understanding and managing your freeze response effectively.
Connecting the SOAP Framework to the Pause Button
To help us understand these responses, we'll be using the Strength of All Parts (SOAP) framework, developed by Janina Fisher. This framework emphasizes that every part of you, including those formed in response to trauma, possesses unique strengths. By recognizing and embracing these parts, we can start to see them as valuable contributors to our overall well-being. To learn more about Janina Fisher’s important work and the SOAP framework, you can visit her website.
Throughout this exploration of the freeze response, remember that The Pause Button is part of your internal team, working to keep you safe. By applying the Strength of All Parts framework, you can start to see your freeze response as a powerful ally. This perspective can help you integrate and accept this part of yourself, fostering a sense of internal harmony.
Reflection Questions
1. What situations or people commonly trigger your freeze response? Reflect on specific instances and consider keeping a journal to track these triggers.
2. How do you typically react when you feel the freeze response? Notice any physical, emotional, or behavioral signs.
3. What strategies have you found helpful in managing your freeze response? Think about techniques like grounding exercises, incorporating movement, or seeking support.
Work with Me
If you're struggling with feelings of numbness and disconnection, I can help. As a trauma therapist specializing in EMDR, I work with clients to understand and manage their freeze response effectively. Together, we can develop strategies to help you reconnect with your body and the present moment. Contact me to schedule a session and start working towards a more balanced and peaceful life.
What’s Next?
Next week, we’ll explore "The Peacemaker" and the submit response. Understanding this response will provide further insight into your behaviors and reactions.
Thank you for being here and for taking this important step. Remember, healing is a journey, and you know the way. Trust yourself.
Warmly,
Monica
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Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions regarding your mental health. Reading this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
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