Welcome back! Last week, we explored practical tools for healing. This week, we’ll start diving into the critical topic of learning to trust yourself after trauma.
I’m Monica, a trauma therapist based in New York City. My go-to method for helping people heal from trauma is EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I love how it can quickly reduce distress and help process trauma, allowing my clients to feel better, get unstuck, and get on with living the lives they’re meant to have. But it's important to remember that there are many paths to healing. As Bessel van der Kolk says, "If someone tells you there is only one solution for all your problems and that they have it, they are more like a pedagogue than a healer—keep looking." What I share in this blog is what I've found effective, but if it doesn't click with you, keep searching for what does.
This month, I’m diving into the critical topic of learning to trust yourself after trauma. Trusting yourself isn’t just an essential part of recovery; it’s vital for your overall well-being and happiness. So, grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and let's embark on this journey together.
Why Trusting Yourself Matters
Rebuilding Trust
Trauma can shatter your ability to trust yourself and your instincts. It's like having your internal compass go haywire. Rebuilding this trust is crucial for feeling safe and confident in your decisions again. It's about rediscovering your inner guidance and learning to rely on it once more.
Self-Reliance
When you trust yourself, you become more self-reliant. This means you can rely on your own judgment and take actions that support your well-being. Trusting yourself empowers you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and grace.
Barriers to Self-Trust
Doubt and Self-Criticism
Trauma often leaves a residue of self-doubt and harsh self-criticism. You might find yourself second-guessing your every move or being overly critical of your decisions. Recognizing these barriers is the first step in overcoming them. Remember, you’re not alone in this—many people on their healing journeys face these challenges.
Disconnection from Inner Signals
Trauma can create a disconnect between you and your body’s signals. This makes it hard to trust your instincts and emotions. Reconnecting with these signals is crucial for rebuilding self-trust. It's like learning to tune back into your internal radio station after being out of range for a while.
Practical Exercise: Reflecting on Self-Trust
1. Journaling:
- Find a quiet space and take some time to write about moments when you felt disconnected from your instincts or doubted yourself. Reflect on how these experiences have impacted you and consider what you might need to rebuild that trust. What patterns do you notice? What emotions come up for you?
2. Affirmations:
- Create affirmations that reinforce your ability to trust yourself. Repeat them daily to help rebuild your self-confidence. Some examples include:
- "I trust my instincts."
- "I am capable of making wise decisions."
- "I listen to my inner wisdom."
Reflection Questions
1. What are some moments in your life where you felt confident in your decisions? Reflect on these experiences and consider how you can draw on that confidence now.
2. How do you usually react to self-doubt? Identify any patterns and think about alternative ways to respond that might support your self-trust.
3. What steps can you take to reconnect with your inner signals? Consider practical ways to become more attuned to your instincts and emotions.
If you're finding it challenging to rebuild self-trust on your own, remember that help is available. Working with a trauma therapist can provide the support and guidance you need on this journey. I offer EMDR intensives designed to help you reconnect with yourself and rebuild that trust. If you're interested, let's work together to create a personalized plan for your healing.
What’s Next?
Next week, I’ll explore learning to trust your personal alarm system, understanding its signals, and discerning between real threats and triggers. This is a crucial step in reclaiming your sense of safety and autonomy.
Thank you for being here and taking this important step on your healing journey. Remember, healing is a journey, and you know the way. Trust yourself.
Warmly,
Monica
Disclaimer: The information provided in this newsletter is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions regarding your mental health. Reading this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship.
Comments